Full Blue Blood Moon: Expanding & Retracting
Rahel's Full Blue Blood Moon Theme
Themes. Heart themes are constantly on my mind now. Thinking on this eclipse as well as the full moon/new moon eclipse back in August, I see that my focus was on setting boundaries. Standing firm in them and making space and being ok with self time. Knowing what my body can take. I accomplished that feat. Coming back to the present, remembering conversation with a close love on being present with my accomplishments and desires, this full moon eclipse I am celebrating my body. My self. I am celebrating how boundary setting is effortless for me now. What a beautiful thing when you can really say no and be fine with it. And to be able to say yes and trust fearlessly. That is where I am. My heart is warm and lovely.
I am also setting boundaries within myself and deconstructing how my body has become addicted to processed foods. As a dear femme I love from afar said in an insta post last week- being poor and overworked has an effect on our bodies and sometimes it is easy for us to fall into reward eating.
Last night I made a special meal for myself. One with lots of ginger, miso, seaweed, red beans, kale, and black quinoa. With each bite I will felt the waste being picked apart. Pushed out of my pores. Out of my body. Sitting on the toilet has never been so sweet haha 😆
Last night I shed tears for those of us who have become wrapped up in the stresses of our work. So much that we forgot for a hot second that we deserve nothing but the best. And we forgot that we can create ways to have the best things. It’s second nature for us to be on that constant hustle — especially as black n brown people; making sure we have the funds we need to stay afloat. But we forget that we have to nurture our bodies. We have to make that part of our hustle. So let’s check on each other more. Meal sharing is an art. It’s a way for us to really take care of each other and nurture one another. I want to see more family dinners this year. I am committing to cooking with close friends and new ones. Corinne and I will be meal prepping on Sundays. This is going to be a way for us to save money and share space and love with each other and go deeper into our friendship.
My heart themes stretch further than just sharing of meals. My heart truly desires intimacy and closeness now. I spent so much of last year sitting with myself and with my plants in my beautiful space. Now my heart craves time spent with friends, lovers, and friend lovers. I want to play beautiful music with them, hug them, kiss them, laugh with them, and hold them really close. I want to be present and really ask them “How are you?” and be ready to listen to their answers.
I have been so blessed to have my twin love come visit for several days in the last couple weeks and it was healing for me on so many levels. To recall how I moved in my friendships back home and think of how I’ve grown and how my friendships move here, has been beautiful process. I’ve also cultivated new ways to keep connecting with my love back home. I’m blessed that two femmes in my life gifted me with a new phone so now I can FaceTime everyone all the time. That really makes my heart jump for joy. Simple luxuries that so many people take for granted are so sacred to me.
In thinking of heart themes, I created a heart healthy and mind healthy tea blend for myself on this full moon:
For relaxation and rejuvenation and a constant reminder that I am abundant and overflowing with blessings on blessings on blessings ✨
I truly hope the full moon eclipse has gifted you with joyful energy as well.
Corinne's Full Blue Blood Moon Rambles
This full moon energy started to hit me a few days ago. It might be that I’ve really started to to live on moontime and create intentions about it. Or maybe it’s just that this month’s lunar energy is really powerful with two full moon’s happening in January — making it a blue moon month.
La luna is giving us truth and power today with a total lunar eclipse, that illuminated the sky this morning with a coppery colored blood moon. The last total lunar eclipse was in August, 2017 during a new moon — so I’ve been thinking about the cyclical nature of life. These past six months I’ve been shedding layers faster than a python. With every layer I shed, I feel myself shiver a little bit more until I grow accustomed to the temperature change. You know how if you’ve lived in the South for awhile, 70 degrees starts to feel freezing until you settle around the bonfire? Yeah, like that.
My vulnerability, all of me, is right on the surface of my being. A stranger passing by could just pluck my nerves and bring me to my knees. An ex lover stopping by could simply pick up my heart for free. An open garage sale! Come one, come all. My body, my soul, my being has been up for grabs. Give me your best offer.
But the other morning I woke up and I walked to work and I smiled to myself. I know that seems small, but I smiled to myself and then I teared up because I smiled from a happiness and love I had given to my own self. In my practice of shedding these past six months, I’ve been really *in my feelings* about how society tells us to prioritize romantic relationships and how that has impacted me. I’ve spent most of my time since coming out as queer seeking romantic relationships. And when I’m in one, I give myself over fully to the other person. I lay my heart at their feet and trust them not to stomp on it. However, I’ve never done that for my own self. I’ve never shown up 200% for myself the way I have for past lovers. I’ve never poured my own honey back into my soul — always flowing out for another’s consumption.
This larger lunar cycle from eclipse to eclipse has really been about finding ways to love myself more. And I don’t mean the marketed “self love” you see in capitalist advertisements — I mean the hard shit. The sitting all night in my room with the ugliest parts of myself kind of shit. The finding ways to love myself even when I don’t like myself. I’ve needed to learn that loving someone else can’t be a placeholder for loving myself.
Love will crack you wide open — it’s what you do with that love that has the power to transform lives (yours included). This all relates back to the moon. Full moons are a time for harvest, a time to sow the seeds you have been secretly hiding, a time to brew up some magic. The water in the soil is close to the surface — same as the water in our bodies is right under our skin. Churning up emotions and thoughts and plans that you maybe haven’t yet given the power of affirmation to yet. Now is the time. Everything is ripe and though that also might bring some pain as it’s easier to get bruised, you can also work within this expanse. Sit in it, grow in it, speak out loud to the Universe what you envision for yourself. She’s listening.
The next full blue moon will happen around the end of March, 2018. Until then, I'll be spending time with my inner creative constellations. I'll be lifting the weight that society has placed on me to focus on romantic relationships — and instead I'll be nurturing platonic love, self intimacy & community care.
Affirmations for this full blue blood moon:
I honor my physical and emotional boundaries. They are valid, as am I.
I have the power to reify my dreams.
I am one with the cosmos.
I can heal the aspects of my heart that have become jaded.
I deserve to feel joy ruminate in my physical being.