Dear Femme Momma...

Dear Rah,

You embody beauty. It envelops you like dew in the morning. You are fresh, open, and ready. A new bloom. You are covered in lotus flowers and smell of moss, dirt, and precious resins.

How long has it been since you stared at your reflection, intently? With burning sensuality?  How long has it been since you’ve laid prostrate and took in the glory of your own being?

For a while you didn’t do this. You got lost in so many outward things. Needs of other people. Tending to them, caring for them. You forgot your ultimate power: taking care of self.

Don’t stay away too long. Know that you are The Mother. The nurturer. A warrior and protector. You nourish those around you with gold nectar dripping from your fingertips and lips. Your tears form halite crystals, and the finest floral waters excrete from your body. Walk with this and in this. Always remember to take care of yourself first. Know that this isn’t selfish. This is so that you can take care of yourself and others in the best way. Most importantly, remember that it is ok to say no.

Don’t give way to those who couldn’t appreciate you.  It’s inevitable. There will be those who care for you and appreciate you and those who don’t. There was a time you almost changed for these people. You tried to put a damper on your femme to make them comfortable. To make them less fearful of your femme. Let them be afraid. Let them say what they need to say because, truly, they need to get it out. You didn’t wear lipstick for an entire year. You barely looked in the mirror for an entire year. Who was she? What was she? She was in limbo. You are out of that space now. You came up glowing. Be proud of that. Remember the moment where you really spent time looking in the mirror at your body and sat with that excitement for an entire day? Hold that close.

Continue to keep your cool. And when questioned about who you are, tell them. Tell them that you are the femme hyena, leader of the pack. But also friend and lover to your fellow femmes.  Also tell them that you bring truth to your name. You are the innocent baby lamb that is so curious about the world around and beyond you, and you see endless possibilities. You nurture AND discipline. You are playful and full of questions. Tell them that you revel in your femininity and its power. Who cares if they know about it because they can’t take your essence from you.

Continue to be the lover who loves to love. The one that is always dripping with it. It is such a grand disappointment to find that there are very few people who can handle the love that you bring. Sharing it with yourself in solitude has become the most beautiful journey. You will encounter individuals who can share those intensities with you. Individuals who don’t grimace at your excitement. Remember who they are. Remember the words that the ones you love always tell you: You have a lot of love to give and it takes special folks who are right with themselves to be able to accept that love. You give fully and freely. It is who you are.  

Your gift of being able to put the pieces together is a real one. The way you set aside time to look at moments and trace them back to their roots is lovely. It will keep you protected in love. It will keep you level in love. And it will keep you from getting lost in love.

You are the femme mother that every queer wishes they could call lover, friend, family. You know what it means to really take care. You know what it means to embody nature. It becomes you. You are everything lovely. After all, you are Black and comely.

With all the love,

~Your shadow

I think it’s important for me to write this to myself because sometimes it’s easy to forget that I am femme inside and out. Regardless of how I am feeling with my gender on any given day I am always femme. I am always giving off that energy. It’s not something that I have always been proud of or comfy with. It’s also not something that my partners loved.

In forming new connections and maintaining old ones, I see what it means to be worshipped, to be treated as that femme hyena. It takes a lot for me to walk in that but it is who I am and it is what I constantly strive to work towards.  And this isn’t purely sexual. To be worshipped and seen for my full femme self means to be challenged and engaged by those I share love with. It means that my work and productivity aren’t to be rated and placed on scales. The work that I put out and the beauty I create is on my time and is the best because it is mine. It means that I am held and shown that I can ask questions, that I do have a safe space to say “I don’t know” or “Show me” and I get that truly and fully. I can NOT have to know everything. I can be free from the expectation of ‘intellectual capacity.’ I can share my knowledge and be in a space where I am always ready to learn more—I don’t have to pretend to be a know it all. I can appreciate that I have been taught something new.  It means that there are no masks, just real faces. Flesh on flesh. Mind to mind. It’s hard to find folks who can be that way with you but it’s beautiful when you do.

I love that Corinne and I can both be there for each other in different ways. I love to make sure that she is taking care of herself and accepting nurturing energy into her life especially in fragile times. She has helped me to be deliberate with everything that I seek and keep a constant mindset that I deserve all of it. I don’t have to carry all of everyone’s feelings with me. I am worthy even though some folks aren’t ready and possibly may not be worthy of the love I have to give. And I don’t think this is fully about our identifications of mommy/daddy, but i think that our identifications do bring these things to a grandiose level.

I love that my friends also remind me of this. I am shown every day that while capitalism runs everything around us, we are full of questions and are open to criticism so that we can be our best selves for, to, and with each other and ultimately, with ourselves first. I took a love language test recently and it made me think about how I move in my relationships with friends and with my connections with lovers. I find that my friends are often my best lovers and I am also that for them. I see that we challenge and love each other so much that our lovers have a very tight network to weave into. But those lovers who do hold that space and appreciate it are very special. I know the true definition of a tribe. Even when there is distance between us I feel connected. It makes me think about all the ways I can and should open myself up to receive what I give out. That’s what makes love connections special. I’m usually the person who is nurturing, the one who is listening. But mothers deserve care as well. We deserve tender moments. Especially since we are always put on the line to take care of so much—and protect so much, we deserve that reverence in return, and ideally first and foremost.

Being proud of being a femme mommy is most challenging. The shit that you get when you embody this is pretty much like the shit that our Earth takes on. You have people who think that being a mommy means one thing only (and usually that thing is overworked and run down)—what happens with those connections we have where we are both mother and father? What happens when we as femme mothers have to be provider, protector, nurturer, and healer? What happens when people have very shallow definitions of what it is to be a femme mommy or daddy? Aka very binary views of both—mommy=nurturing, submissive, domestic, caring; daddy=authoritative, provider, self-sufficient, unemotional. How are these characteristics replicated even in our queer relationships? These are questions that need answers.

When I think of my mother self and what that means, I think of the moments I’ve spent with just me, really asking myself hard questions and getting to know more about unfamiliar yet familiar parts of myself. I think of the dreams I have and the conversations I have with those close to me.

I think of my mother self as Black first and always. I think about the Black mothers and Black women who I love and surround myself with. I think of moments where we are taught that we have to be hard. Taught that we have to hesitate and be on the defensive so much, taught that there are particular expectations we have to uphold—this deals with our collective traumas that we haven’t always dealt with.  But I think that these collective experiences, traumatic or not, have taught us (those of us who walk in this) we embody a special type of mother. We are everything wrapped in one. I truly feel that my mother self can be hard but also remembers to be soft because of what I have processed over the years and how I have gotten to know myself. I remember that not all mothers have to be emotional all the time and we don’t have to carry others’ emotions either. We are allowed to demand that others carry and take care of their own emotions. We are allowed to distance ourselves from the nurturing process and love on ourselves or love on people who are serving us at any moment in time. We are allowed to be curious and to explore and make mistakes and get messy (yes that’s TOTALLY a Ms. Frizzle reference—Corinne told me that I am basically Ms. Frizzle). I feel that if you’ve never made a mess that you’ve never lived life. But I am fascinated by folks who can organize their mess. That’s a beautiful thing.

When I think of what it means to bring these attributes of mother into my queer identity I think of how I always hold true to these aspects of my mother self:

  • Not being the emotional baggage carrier—because in reality that never works. People should process on their own, guidance is valid but I cannot and will not process someone’s emotions with them entirely—the only time this is needed is when you are in a close relationship with someone and you are processing how each of your emotions affect the other and influence where the relationship is/could be going.

  • I am not your healer. I am a vessel that can be used to inspire others’ healing, but I am not the ultimate healer. People heal themselves. Those moments of true belief in self is beautiful. Such a breathtaking thing to watch. We forget that we have the ability to heal ourselves and to overcome. We have the ability to use all of what our Earth and what our universe has to offer and shape it in our hands into what we want it to be. In healing my own self I know that this is true. After having surgery on my fibroids I knew exactly what I needed in order to heal. I manifested those things and I am healed. In the spots where I am most tender, I show more love and care. There’s always room for growth. I think that knowing how to communicate what is hurting or what is at the forefront of your thoughts is important. Communication is key. But constantly leaning on another for care is selfish and toxic. Community is there for a reason. We need to build better communities so that our lovers and friends can have multiple places to access their healing powers instead of relying solely on their lovers to do this work for them.

  • I am allowed to spread my love—again, not purely sexual. I could never see myself loving just one person. I bring my friends into my non-monogamy and I also bring myself into it. I have a very unconditional love of self and it has come from a long journey of traumas, missed/wrong connections, failures, mistakes, and the messiest of messes. I have trusted too quickly, I have said too much, I have been vulnerable in unsafe spaces. Coming out of that I give myself full freedom to love fully. I see how lovely it is to share my experience with others who reciprocate and reflect love back to me. I also hold close that I don’t put a hierarchy on my love. I am very matter of fact. My excitement or my time spent with a particular person is just that, and I always hold that the individuals I love must respect that. I also in turn do that for other folks. I also hold space for time spent with the ego.

  • I love the way that masculinity flourishes within femininity. I love the way that there is an ebb and flow of both of these aspects within myself and within who I connect with. I love that there are multiple ways to be masculine and feminine. I love the energy that exists between the two. I love how I can explore this in my relationships and within my identity as femme mother—to be put into a space of full vulnerability and to trust that I do not need to be in protector mode is what true freedom looks like for me.  I also know that these attributes of masculine and feminine have been taught to me, are recycled in our society, and can be recipes for toxicity. I am always looking for knew ways to name what I express and what I interact with.

  • I am always in need of unwavering love of my curiosity and playfulness. They’re parts of me that I feel are at the root and forefront of who I am. I am curious. I am youthful. I am always in love with searching for new answers to questions that I carry with me. I remember having someone call me because they got freaked out that I was really excited and happy to text them and vibe w them. It was the most hilarious moment. I felt it was hilarious because we barely exchanged messages yet, when we did I was excited about it and I guess very aggressive with it. I let them have that and sit with it because honestly it wasn’t something that I needed to address with myself. They made incorrect assumptions and I didn’t feel like doing the labor to correct it. I love letting people know how excited I am to share space and time with them. I think it takes the most sound individuals to hold that excitement and not turn it into something it’s not. This is why I appreciate everything femme. We have a mutual understanding of what that excitement is. We know that it is a way to be honest. We should be honest about all of the things that move us—and I am very much so. Even the things that get me hot headed or set me off —I communicate that and let people know and sometimes it can be intense. What are we taught as femmes? We are taught that consistent words of affirmation mean that there is an attachment of sorts. We are taught that consistent checking in or extreme excitement is annoying—you don’t want to be seen as needy do you? You don’t want to be unattractive. You want to have an air of mystery about you. That air of mystery is in your energy not in your words. You words should always be direct and fearless. Your words should be matter of fact. I think that my excitement and the way I communicate are sometimes put into boxes because people aren’t used to honesty. People are used to things being hidden until the right moment comes to let it out. Until they’ve gotten what they want. Why not be your true self from the start? Let the layers unfold. Maybe it’s because I think there are always new things about myself that I can share, things that I never noticed about myself that sometimes come up that I just say what’s on my mind. I appreciate the folks who like my excitement and see it for what it is and don’t allow how and what they have been taught to morph it into stereotypes. We must always ask questions. I feel that the ways we communicate with each other can sometimes reflect how other life beings communicate. If only we could all really study and pay attention to that, maybe we could learn to exist together, maybe we could learn to love each other better. Maybe we could learn to be with each other without having to lean on masculine or feminine notions. We could just  move in it.

Femme mother is taking all of these aspects of self and holding them high and being proud of them. It’s not letting someone put me in a certain category. It’s really asking someone to read the energy I put off and having them understand and respect it. It’s in asking all of the questions always in all ways. It’s not just ‘going with the flow’. It’s not just having chill moments only. I revel in moments that aren’t always chill. I revel in the moments where uncomfortable conversations have to be had. Even when I’m scared I know these things must happen. They don’t always happen of course. And there are many times where things are left unsaid because of my fear. There are times connections have been cut off because of my fear. This is why it is important to leave room for error/failure.

There is this false notion that in order to operate on higher levels you have to do away with the parts of yourself that experience unattractive feelings. This is the only way you can be an attractive and valid mate. You aren’t vibrating higher if you don’t acknowledge those feelings. You aren’t vibrating higher if you think that disagreements should never happen. You certainly aren’t vibrating higher if you mindlessly move throughout life without processing what you are moving through and why. There’s a difference between not wanting conflicting energies setting within yourself or within your relationships and completely shutting out any and all emotions. In one situation you make space to sort what is conflicting out, in the other you dance around it until it becomes this thing that is larger than you could ever imagine. Being a Femme Mother allows me to navigate these spaces and know how to discern what I am dealing with—and to some it may be a surprise that I got this guidance from my father.

I guess the forever looming question is how do I bring being femme mother into my kink world?

I  literally love taking care to the point where it is such a turn on for me. I love to bathe, to oil up, I love to discipline in a nurturing way—asking how one feels, giving someone exactly what they ask for when they communicate it fully and teasing them and keeping that from them when they aren’t fully direct. It is a reflection of who I am for myself. And what I need for myself. I’m not always the most confident person in the bedroom. I think that full on communication and talking is what gets me going. And also feeling that strong desire and vibe from a lover is the key that unlocks my complete confidence in being the best lover I can be. I love having a daddy that I can vibe off of. It’s so good to have that strength and power that really pushes me into being confident—demands that I be confident. That’s just the tip of things, but yes. My femme mother self is always seeking to please.

Do you know how to operate within your Femme Mother self?  What does it look like for you? How do you take it out of the sexual realm and into your everyday—OR do you operate as Femme Mother sexually only and in another way in your everyday (this is important to know)? What has your journey to being your ultimate Femme Mother looked like?

This is part one of a blog series, tune back in tomorrow for Corinne's piece "Dear Femme Daddy..."

Rahel Neirene
Cosmosis: On Intimacy & Desire

This past weekend, I was snuggled in my bed reading my favorite book as of late: "Many Moons" by Sarah Gottess. This is more than a book — it has spells, rituals and journal prompts for each specific phase of the moon. This Valentine's Day the moon is dark and residing in Aquarius, while Venus (the planet of love, relationships, beauty and attraction) is at her brightest. You should be able to look into the night sky and see her pink hue shining brightly above you, where the moon is void from sight.

Anyways, back to the book. In the excerpt "Journeys into Darkness: Embracing Ourselves Wholly" written for this dark lunar time — Gottess writes about the ancient Sumerian goddess Inanna who I had never heard of before. Inanna's story is one of growing comfortable with our darkness, our shadow self, the places we're usually afraid to go. She was known as the first daughter of the moon. In summary of what I learned from Gottess' retelling of Inanna's story — she goes to visit her sister Ereshkigal, Queen of the Dead, in the underworld but Ereshkigal doesn't want her there. She forces Inanna — who arrived beautiful, glittering, donning her finest clothes — to endure the depths of hell before she could arrive at the foot of her sister's throne. When Inanna succeeds, she has gone through so much turmoil and suffering yet still Ereshkigal orders her dead and hangs her on a meat hook for three days. Though Inanna is rescued and resurrected, it's only to find that her husband has overthrown her power and not mourned her death at all. Yet still, she rises and becomes her most powerful and attuned self.

This story is one that shows the importance of working with our shadow self. It's said that Inanna died for three days and three nights, which is about the same length of time as the dark moon. As Gottess puts it, "Inanna underwent seven layers of ego and the death of her psyche to be completely transformed after the surrender of her pain."

I wanted to share this story because this Valentine's Day I'm super focused on my process of sexual empowerment. This is not an easy journey, and often if we truly want to reach to depths of our inner core, we have to get real comfortable with our darkness. While it may seem that I have it all together when it comes to my sexuality (since it's my day job to write about it) — that is not the whole truth.

I've never been the most vocal about my desires when it comes to sex. I feel like in part it's from being socialized as a woman in my formative years and also the ways in which femmes are pigeonholed in the queer community. It took me years of having the kind of sex my partners dictated before I learned that I, too, could vocalize what kind of sex I wanted to have. And even then, I wasn’t quite sure what kind of sex I craved. I had been so conditioned to centering the pleasure of my partners, that I was incredibly uncomfortable with embracing my own intimate feelings about sex.

I see navigating what your desires are as a lifelong process because our sexual interests have fluidity depending on so many different things. I never want to stop questioning and navigating with partners what our mutual desires are and where they root from. I started this year off by doing a Yes, No, Maybe comprehensive list of my sexual desires and I'm going to do one at the end of the year to see how they evolve.

If you've listened to our podcast, then you likely know that I have a sexual affinity for daddy's. It's no secret. But when Rahel and I were doing this impromptu photoshoot and I was tying them up, it dawned on me that I'm the femme daddy that I've been dreaming of. I can be the personification of my own desires. And how fucking beautiful is that?! 

Intimacy is something that I really have been trying to prioritize in all of my relationships as of late. Building a relationships off of intimacy is one that is bound to thrive, because of the realms in which you see one another. I think that we limit ourselves to often only thinking of intimacy as something shared with romantic partners. But building an intimate foundation with your friends and community is vital. We need each other to be able to sustain our own joy in this crazy world. Being intimate with someone means so many things. It means checking in one each other, holding space for our truths, being vulnerable, recognizing when we've fucked up. The more intimate I've become in my relationships — the stronger of a connection I feel. And the closer to my own desires I become. It's all a process and it's all interwoven. 

I love learning new things about my sexual self. It can feel intimidating because, in part, it's bringing you closer to your most carnal self. As I expand my breadth of sexual desires this year, I want to intentionally focus on deepening my relationship with my dark side, the desires I’ve been too afraid to embrace before. I want to explore my underworld through sex and intimacy. 

Some journaling prompts for this Valentine's Day:
What makes up the web of your sexual desires?
What would your darkest underworld look like?
How would you prevail through the depths of this underworld?
What does your darkness bring you closer to?
What do you need to shed to get closer to your most sensual self?
What are you ready to face about your darkest desires?

xx, Corinne

There is something about true intimacy that resonates within the body and leaves you vibrating long after you’ve connected with someone. I think, however, the most important form of that type of vibe is the intimacy that we have with ourselves. There’s nothing like feeling the vibration as your feet hit the floor and slowly watching from within, feeling the buzz as that vibration flows through your body. What happens when you can’t feel that vibration? Maybe you’ve walked off to a different path, maybe there’s some blockage within the body not allowing for your footsteps to resonate fully with you. It’s for that reason that I think intimacy with and within ourselves is the first and foremost project to take on. 

I pay attention to those moments of strain and stress and I know for the most part my crossed or missed connectivity within has to do with folk’s energies I’ve taken on. I’ve created various ways to work with and cleanse myself of that. As a person extremely sensitive to other folk’s vibrations and feelings, I keep both light and heavy crystals n stones in my living space and on me. I also keep a prayerful mind and spirit. It’s something I’ve had to pick at and meditate on because I grew up going to church multiple times a week, and after I stepped away from that environment because it didn’t serve me, I think that prayer and meditation play a slightly different but important role in my daily life. There have been spans of time—sometimes months, where I have felt disconnected with myself. I feel like im inclosed in a glass box, people can see and I can see them, but i feel disconnected, first within myself and then with whoever i may be interacting with or passing by. That hasn’t occurred with me for a long time, but if i get a hint that I might be falling off, I sink deep within—I think maybe this is a Cancer thing cause you know, crabby shells drifting in water. I stay there in my shell for a while. I do everything that I like to do when taking care of myself. I take baths, spend time taking care of and talking to my plants. I might read a few novels or some poetry, or my fav—listen to music. I come back up. I’m no longer in that glass box and I can really feel the air hit my skin and sun beam on my forehead. 

Checking in with myself is the greatest form of intimacy I have, and I do it multiple times a day. If I’m nervous or scared, angry or sad about something I think about if I’ve talked to someone who was feeling a particular way in previous days, I think about what I’ve read and viewed on social media, dreams I’ve had, thoughts that have crossed my mind, and I think about music I’ve listened to. These things really affect me in strong ways so I like to think about that and really get at where my feelings are coming from so I can stay rooted and grounded, something that is important to my overall well being. In navigating these feelings,  I’m not blaming other people for coming to me or talking to me (it’s my gift to council and listen to others and nurture them), but I really do absorb what others feel and it’s such a blessing but can also be harmful to me if I’m not careful and not checking in. 

So, a fun part of intimacy is reaping the rewards of manifestations. I get super excited about this and am in an utter state of bliss that lasts so long. I feel like bliss is something that can last forever with me. I get excited about the smallest things:—“Ayyeee, you fucking made the most delectable papaya and berry salad for breakfast. Look. At. You”— yes. This is me on the daily. I love going to my mirror after acknowledging these things looking myself directly in the eye so that all of me can look at and feel that bliss. This past weekend I was excited about my new tattoo, new crystal babies that I got in, and the best Sunday celebrating Alice Coltrane.Sunday morning in preparation for my day, I took the most glorious cleansing bath. I came out feeling fresh and ready. I danced in front of my mirror and couldn’t help but be blanketed in so much happiness. Speaking of my tattoo, it holds so much truth and power for me, and is also a reflection of the intimacy I hold with myself. It’s a scarab beetle with an oblong void at its head. I have always been fascinated by dirt, and by things that crawl in and through the dirt, creating various tunnels and pathways for growth and transformation to happen. I feel like I’ve always carried earth—such fertile soil with me throughout my life and in that, I feel like I am a beautiful iridescent beetle carrying that happy place with me. Often times getting to that happy place involves wading through the void. One that hold so many of my experiences and traumas. As I become more knowledgeable about various aspects of myself, I spend time in that void. I go in and out. The ultimate goal is to come out on the other side, in a state of nirvana if you will. This knowledge and relationship with myself is so sacred and important and I love that it’s forever marked on me as a reminder of who I was, am, and always becoming—because we are always becoming even when stagnant (download period). 

I also believe in the power of oneness. I call it cosmosis. My definition for cosmosis is the transfer and cyclical movement of energy throughout the cosmos—this includes terrestrial, extra-terrestrial, and celestial beings (and also the fact that all of these beings are parts to a whole). Specifically, cosmosis is a process in which these beings pass through semipermeable membranes (kinda like in osmosis but not), from a lower frequency level to a higher one, therefore equalizing the cyclical process of the universe—aka passing through voids. How much more intimate can we get than that—possibly more. I’m always open to more. But cosmosis is something that for me, is intimacy at its greatest especially when you are sharing with other beings. Especially when thinking about how we are part of the universe and the universe is part of us. 

When I bring other people in to enjoy the intimacy I can share, I’m very careful with it and know the ways I can share it. Intimacy is something that I share and give fully to my friends, lovers, and friend-lovers. I love the laughs the smiles, and that warm energy that sits between us. I also love the moments where I’m sharing stories with a stranger and I feel that same warmth pop up. We become grateful for each other in that moment—sometimes that can look like sharing a smile with someone on the train, validating that curious child’s glance, or for me, actually reveling in soft and tender new moments that the kid’s I nanny for have. Watching someone else’s relationship with self grow is beautiful. I see childhood so much differently these days. 

When i think about how intimacy and desire mesh together, I’ve been wanting a different kind of intimacy lately, and am so thankful to the universe to all of the connections that have formed that are giving me what I need. After having surgery and experiencing sensual energies with myself post-op, I see that my body’s sensitivity levels are on 100000000000. It’s so real. And so good. I am being so intentional with who and how I share that with and at times, haven’t had it because I don’t want to experience that with just anyone. I had a couple hookups last year that were just…..empty. I know there was so much missing from them and no matter how much I wanted it to, the spark between me and those people would go out immediately after our initial interactions. Keeping a flame lit is where I’m at and what I seek. Spiritual/mental/full body connection is my vibe and I know that I have to have all of those things to make a relationship work. Mixing intimacy with desire is fun because you can build trust and closeness with someone who really cares to listen to you talk about everything you want for yourself and they gas you all the way up. It’s literally like stars exploding. It’s not just about sex either. Talking with someone about those desires that you have in the back of your mind that you only speak to yourself is refreshing, espc if the reciprocity is there. 

I love that Corinne and I have a friendship that is continuing to blossom and we can have such a closeness with each other where we trust one another with those desires—not only that, we make it happen. We have a mystical garden that is full of all our desires and so many of them are budding. 

Intimacy and desire hold so much power alongside each other. They are like that unknown fact that the universe is larger than we could ever know, like the unknown fact that we are larger than we could ever know. Adding those two together is pretty much what my excitement of intimacy and desire looks like. I love it. I douse myself in it and sparkle. I hope that you have the same love for those two very important parts of self/life and I hope it resonates with you on every day. 

Here are some good ways to make sure that you enjoy intimacy at its fullest within your self and with your lovers and friends:

-Keep a journal. Pay attention to your moods, your conversations, and the ways you vibrate. Be in he present even when looking forward and backward. Always write in an affirmative way—you have what you want and need and so set intentions with that in mind. I kept an old journal that was so jumbled and a mix of affirmative language and wishful language. When I started a new journal and wrote in affirming ways, I could see things blossoming for me. I feel so full now. 

-Talk with your friends, partners, and lovers about who you are with them and outside of the connection you have with them. Have conversations about where they want to go with you. We deserve friends that will build with us. We deserve lovers who will build and believe in our aspirations, in our work, in the way we love. 

-Lastly, sit with yourself and talk it out. Getting to know the language you speak to yourself is important. For me, it’s very light. Very matter of fact. Very loving and affirming. Love yourself fully so others know to come correctly. 

xx, Rahel

Corinne Werder
What Can Accountability Look Like In Practice?
femme love.png

I have a very tumultuous relationship with accountability. I find that accountability outside oneself is full of expectations and unknowns. Corinne and I had a convo with some really amazing individuals the other day and one of them mentioned that accountability starts with the self first—and ultimately you can only be sure of it within yourself. I completely agree. I think that if you aren’t accountable with your own self and can’t be raw, vulnerable, and honest about how you hold yourself to boundaries you have set, how can you possibly be accountable to your partners, friends, or communities? 

With all of this in mind, this is a list that I make for myself to stay on my path. It leaves room for error which I appreciate, because there are some times that we may not be 100% present. 

What are you feeling?
How are your feelings influencing your actions? Vice versa? 
What have you eaten today?
Did you create time for solitude today?
Drink more water.
Don’t forget to make tea before bed!
Were you completely honest today?
If not, in what ways and how? Did your dishonesty create a downward or upward spiral?
If yes, in what ways and how? Did your honesty create a downward or upward spiral?
What energies did you welcome in your space today?
Did you practice meditation today—even for just a moment?
How did you cleanse today?
What sounds surrounded you throughout the day?
In conversations, what stood out to you?
What moved you today?
What colors did you see? 

These are the ways I hold myself accountable. I don’t do this everyday. I also don’t write the answers down everyday. Sometimes I have a conversation with myself. There are days I focus only on one question. Other days I may add more. I think that holding myself accountable first allows me to be present with my all who I may interact with and also allows me to practice actively listening to everything around me. I get distracted easily. I also disassociate sometimes especially if I’ve had a busy week. So I like to make sure that I am rested, well fed, and looking and feeling the best that I can.

Community accountability is hard to visualize. There are so many people in our world and we all interact differently and on various frequencies. I try to keep myself open in so many ways because I realize that no matter what frequency someone is on there is always something for me to learn and varying ways for me to connect with others. Lately, I have been practicing not absorbing what doesn’t actively serve me—and I’m not saying all my interactions have to give something to me. I’m saying that in being an active listener, and being someone who can share wisdom and power, I also have to be accountable and really hold the individuals that come to me. Holding someone and helping them move up shouldn’t involve me absorbing and experiencing their struggles. I have the power to see what is happening with folks, use my vision to help others move higher. It’s a hard thing to remember and very challenging for me to practice, but it helps me become a better friend and I see that my friendships have bloomed beautiful flowers as I move forward in this way. Doing this has also helped me envision where I can take the work that I do and want to do and manifest it. 

Corinne and I have been talking about so many things with each other. Places we want to go, business moves we want to make. We’re making these things happen and I know it’s because we believe we can do it. She believes in me and I in her. We also have shared with each other our strengths and weaknesses and in that way we can help to hold each other accountable and see that possibilities are endless for us. We start inward and move outward. When thinking of community accountability I always think about these things first. Here are some questions that come to mind when I think of community accountability—they are questions that I can ask myself and pose to my communities (for me community can be as small as one on one interactions with friends/lovers/family as well as larger communities like folks I live with/work with/create with/identify with):

What is your vision? — yes this is an open ended question.
What do I seek?
What do I need in my relationships?
What do I bring to relationships?
How do I see myself?
How do I want others to address me?
What responses can I give when I feel ostracized?
What are my triggers?
Who/what can I look to when I feel triggered?
What do I need to come out of triggering moments?
What can I do to not feel triggered?
In what ways can I share myself?
How can I communicate what I would like to know about others?
What/where are my strong points?
What/where are my weak points?
What do I need to be vulnerable?
How can I create space for others to be vulnerable?
Who am I?
What am I?
How am I?
Where? This is very open because I like to think about ‘where’ when thinking of maintaining connections.  

Accountability can be a very murky thing to navigate. But I think asking LOTS of questions can make it very tangible. It can also help create boundaries that you can stick with.  

Do you ask questions a lot? If so, what are they? Share with us!

xx, Rahel

I spend a lot of time thinking about intimacy, desire, relationships & accountability within all of the above. I was at Queer Soup Night with a friend a few weeks back when we really delved into these topics. We talked about how so often femmes are having these conversations on our dates, in our bedrooms, on the kitchen floor after a night out — but yet they aren't seen as valuable in our society. These conversations, when we examine the ways in which we support and love one another, are literally vital to our survival. They are activism. They are transforming our communities into stronger and more supportive entities. We are doing the work without even realizing that we are doing the work. 

How do these conversations come up for y'all? What do you want to really examine about the ways in which we love and hold ourselves accountable as queer femmes? And yes, I mean romantic and platonic and communal and familial. Every form of love.

For me, a huge aspect of this is reifying our boundaries. Giving verbal power to our vulnerable needs and desires from people. I recently sent Rahel a text saying, "I'm having an awful mental health day and I really need a friend to talk to. Do you have space for me to come over tonight?" And by space, I meant emotional and physical. When I sent that text I was nervous about it, even though I know that Rahel loves me and is there for me. Putting out that I was in a moment of need felt scary. But when we speak to those intimate and scary truths with our people, that's when we have a chance to grow. That's when we have a chance to feel seen and loved and build upon our connections. 

On the other side of that is also having the ability to say "no" when we have to. And doing so in a loving and caring way. Speaking to our boundaries and saying, "I can't take that on right now, I love you and let's check in with each other this weekend."

Because individual healing, interpersonal care, and collective liberation are all intrinsically bound. The work is not easy. It's a commitment for probably our entire lives. It takes constant and intentional work to be accountable to those we love. And to set the needed boundaries to recieve the same. 

I think it's also important to not treat our friends as placeholders until we find romantic love. That is so often the narrative I see and it hurts. Not only do we become isolated in our romantic loves (and thus expect them to fulfill all of our needs) but we're also shutting out the possibility for having deeper relationships with our friends. Platonic intimacy is so valuable to me. It's a new experience for me, I think because we're told from society to seek finding our "soulmate" instead of simply living life with love in mind with all of our connections. Love on your friends, send them sweet messages, leave them tender gifts, hug them, snuggle with them, take them on platonic dates. 

Rahel and I delve more into this in our episode next week (with our fabulous guests). Until then, leave us comments, message us or email us with your thoughts! We want to hear from you. 

xx, Corinne

Full Blue Blood Moon: Expanding & Retracting

Rahel's Full Blue Blood Moon Theme

Themes. Heart themes are constantly on my mind now. Thinking on this eclipse as well as the full moon/new moon eclipse back in August, I see that my focus was on setting boundaries. Standing firm in them and making space and being ok with self time. Knowing what my body can take. I accomplished that feat. Coming back to the present, remembering conversation with a close love on being present with my accomplishments and desires, this full moon eclipse I am celebrating my body. My self. I am celebrating how boundary setting is effortless for me now. What a beautiful thing when you can really say no and be fine with it. And to be able to say yes and trust fearlessly. That is where I am. My heart is warm and lovely. 

I am also setting boundaries within myself and deconstructing how my body has become addicted to processed foods. As a dear femme I love from afar said in an insta post last week- being poor and overworked has an effect on our bodies and sometimes it is easy for us to fall into reward eating. 

Last night I made a special meal for myself. One with lots of ginger, miso, seaweed, red beans, kale, and black quinoa. With each bite I will felt the waste being picked apart. Pushed out of my pores. Out of my body. Sitting on the toilet has never been so sweet haha 😆 

Last night I shed tears for those of us who have become wrapped up in the stresses of our work. So much that we forgot for a hot second that we deserve nothing but the best. And we forgot that we can create ways to have the best things. It’s second nature for us to be on that constant hustle — especially as black n brown people; making sure we have the funds we need to stay afloat. But we forget that we have to nurture our bodies. We have to make that part of our hustle. So let’s check on each other more. Meal sharing is an art. It’s a way for us to really take care of each other and nurture one another. I want to see more family dinners this year. I am committing to cooking with close friends and new ones. Corinne and I will be meal prepping on Sundays. This is going to be a way for us to save money and share space and love with each other and go deeper into our friendship. 

My heart themes stretch further than just sharing of meals. My heart truly desires intimacy and closeness now. I spent so much of last year sitting with myself and with my plants in my beautiful space. Now my heart craves time spent with friends, lovers, and friend lovers. I want to play beautiful music with them, hug them, kiss them, laugh with them, and hold them really close. I want to be present and really ask them “How are you?” and be ready to listen to their answers. 

I have been so blessed to have my twin love come visit for several days in the last couple weeks and it was healing for me on so many levels. To recall how I moved in my friendships back home and think of how I’ve grown and how my friendships move here, has been beautiful process. I’ve also cultivated new ways to keep connecting with my love back home. I’m blessed that two femmes in my life gifted me with a new phone so now I can FaceTime everyone all the time. That really makes my heart jump for joy.  Simple luxuries that so many people take for granted are so sacred to me. 

In thinking of heart themes, I created a heart healthy and mind healthy tea blend for myself on this full moon:

Red clover

For relaxation and rejuvenation and a constant reminder that I am abundant and overflowing with blessings on blessings on blessings ✨ 

I truly hope the full moon eclipse has gifted you with joyful energy as well.

Corinne's Full Blue Blood Moon Rambles

This full moon energy started to hit me a few days ago. It might be that I’ve really started to to live on moontime and create intentions about it. Or maybe it’s just that this month’s lunar energy is really powerful with two full moon’s happening in January — making it a blue moon month.

La luna is giving us truth and power today with a total lunar eclipse, that illuminated the sky this morning with a coppery colored blood moon. The last total lunar eclipse was in August, 2017 during a new moon — so I’ve been thinking about the cyclical nature of life. These past six months I’ve been shedding layers faster than a python. With every layer I shed, I feel myself shiver a little bit more until I grow accustomed to the temperature change. You know how if you’ve lived in the South for awhile, 70 degrees starts to feel freezing until you settle around the bonfire? Yeah, like that.

My vulnerability, all of me, is right on the surface of my being. A stranger passing by could just pluck my nerves and bring me to my knees. An ex lover stopping by could simply pick up my heart for free. An open garage sale! Come one, come all. My body, my soul, my being has been up for grabs. Give me your best offer.

But the other morning I woke up and I walked to work and I smiled to myself. I know that seems small, but I smiled to myself and then I teared up because I smiled from a happiness and love I had given to my own self. In my practice of shedding these past six months, I’ve been really *in my feelings* about how society tells us to prioritize romantic relationships and how that has impacted me. I’ve spent most of my time since coming out as queer seeking romantic relationships. And when I’m in one, I give myself over fully to the other person. I lay my heart at their feet and trust them not to stomp on it. However, I’ve never done that for my own self. I’ve never shown up 200% for myself the way I have for past lovers. I’ve never poured my own honey back into my soul — always flowing out for another’s consumption.

This larger lunar cycle from eclipse to eclipse has really been about finding ways to love myself more. And I don’t mean the marketed “self love” you see in capitalist advertisements — I mean the hard shit. The sitting all night in my room with the ugliest parts of myself kind of shit. The finding ways to love myself even when I don’t like myself. I’ve needed to learn that loving someone else can’t be a placeholder for loving myself.

Love will crack you wide open — it’s what you do with that love that has the power to transform lives (yours included). This all relates back to the moon. Full moons are a time for harvest, a time to sow the seeds you have been secretly hiding, a time to brew up some magic. The water in the soil is close to the surface — same as the water in our bodies is right under our skin. Churning up emotions and thoughts and plans that you maybe haven’t yet given the power of affirmation to yet. Now is the time. Everything is ripe and though that also might bring some pain as it’s easier to get bruised, you can also work within this expanse. Sit in it, grow in it, speak out loud to the Universe what you envision for yourself. She’s listening.

The next full blue moon will happen around the end of March, 2018. Until then, I'll be spending time with my inner creative constellations. I'll be lifting the weight that society has placed on me to focus on romantic relationships — and instead I'll be nurturing platonic love, self intimacy & community care. 

Affirmations for this full blue blood moon:
I honor my physical and emotional boundaries. They are valid, as am I.
I have the power to reify my dreams.
I am one with the cosmos.
I can heal the aspects of my heart that have become jaded.
I deserve to feel joy ruminate in my physical being.

Super Moon In Gemini: Looking In The Mirror
 Credit: Moonology

Credit: Moonology

Rahel's Full Moon Reflection:

I've been feeling the energy of the upcoming full moon all week. I've felt unusually exposed. Very raw crab out of their shell. Soft skin out in the open. It's been a lot to get used to but I think this feeling will be sticking around throughout the retrograde. 

I've been putting most of my attention to clearing out heaviness in my life. This includes people, material things, and past traumas/events I've been holding onto. I was blessed to be able to attend Blindseed's Heart Camp in early November. It reminded me of the importance of getting up and out of the city. Deep into nature. I had so much time to reflect and process all that had been going on with me throughout the year. I've been able to really give thanks for the new space I live in and set intentions for myself and my work. I was able to be explicit and direct with the universe, spending time hiking in the woods with a close friend and us laughing and screaming into the crisp air. I appreciate those special times with friends. I want that more. To be my honest self with them. Cry with them. Share my insecurities, rage, and happiness with them. I will do that so much more going forward. At Heart Camp I made commitments to myself and the universe. To invest in my creations and share them more often, to feed my body only the best, and to dream better and more often. 

My favorite part of Heart Camp was the last day's event. Most of us participated in the sound bath. I'd never had one before-or so I thought until I talked with the facilitator afterwards. It was a very psychedelic experience. I saw glowing DNA strands rewriting themselves. After I felt completely light and empty. The heaviness in my solarplexus lifted. I was and still am full of light. I came home with the energy to really work and move with ease. I feel a fluidity I haven't felt in years. Since my teenage years actually. 

I notice a lot of fear coming to the surface with this new raw body of mine so I've been sitting with it and looking to where it comes from. Growing up I had it as well. It came from so many folks questioning my happiness and bliss and outspokenness that I grew fearful of my own light and dimmed it a bit. I'm thankful for friends that I have now who refuse to let me dim my light. It's how I keep myself in check. I decided to take this a step further and talked with a beautiful person Corinne and I have both been blessed to share space with, Odane. They're an herbalist, magical light worker and healer. We held a tea ceremony in my home where they made a special blend for how I've been feeling, what I needed lifted, and what I wanted to manifest. They guided me through meditation and really helped me find the tools I needed to continue these meditations for myself. I found that a lot of what I used to practice I stopped after 2005. So I'm bringing those practices back and have been meditating in the morning and at night before bed. I really check in with myself throughout the day to make sure I'm not holding on to others' emotions and baggage. I'm really loving this new light feeling and am holding on to it tightly. 

I will be celebrating the full moon upstate at Storm King. Reveling in the beauty of my surroundings and sharing love with close friends. I also will be writing out a guide for myself on ensuring that my crafts are sustainable for me. 

I hope that this full moon shows you a side of yourself you're not usually used to and you take full advantage of it and jump into it with love and care  🌝

We hope you'll join us for our Winter Solstice live recording of the podcast with Odane, followed by a beautiful tea ceremony. 

Corinne's Super Moon Reflection:

This weekend, there are a lot of magical things manifesting in the sky. Sunday the moon will turn full while in Gemini — which is my sun sign. I've been feeling super energized this week. I'm usually such a homebody and introvert but I just realized that I made intentional plans every day for the past week with people I love. It was so beautiful and I feel so full of their love and energy right now. It's illuminated to create intentional energy with people in your life. To curate and care for the energy your relationships hold. 

This full moon is also a super moon, meaning la luna is extra close to the Earth and her energy doubles in power. Or at least, I like to think so. My emotions feel bigger. My relationships feel more intense. Insights into my mind are more forthcoming. My release of what's needed feels heavier than usual. 

My mind is always twenty steps ahead of where my present self is. Which can have me feeling rushed and flighty often. That is especially amplified during Mercury retrograde. But I'm actually looking forward to this last retrograde of 2017 — it helps everything come to the surface that I've be avoiding. It helps me realize unhealthy patterns. It helps me communicate what I need to release. 

I don't want to rush through my life. I don't want my propensity to think ahead to get the best of me. I try to communicate with intention to the people I love, but sometimes I fuck up. Sometimes I say things I don't mean or I speak out of haste instead of love. I'm taking time this super moon to sit with myself and really slow down my speed. I want to be more intentional and aware and conscious in the life I'm living. 

I hope this full super moon brings out your twin selves in the most beautiful and creative way. I hope you allow yourself to feel the intensity of the moon in Gemini. Don't be afraid of what your third eye calls you to witness. It might bring you to the brink of what your soul has been craving this past year.

Calming tincture to start off the New Year.

Like I said, my mind is always twenty steps ahead. So I'm already thinking about the New Year. I want to start off 2018 in a calm and reflective state. So I recently made this Chamomile tincture and wanted to share the recipe with y'all. It's perfect to help improve sleep, ease menstrual cramps, relieve headache, and soothe anxiety.

What you'll need:
A glass jar with an airtight lid
1/2 cup of Chamomile flowers
1 cup of 80-100 proof Vodka or Brandy
A cheesecloth or strainer

Take your Chamomile flowers and crush them slightly before you pour the cup of alcohol over them in the glass jar. Seal it with the airtight lid and allow it to sit in a dark, cool space for 4 to 6 weeks. After the 4 to 6 weeks are up, strain the liquid using a cheesecloth or strainer into a small jar or container for easy use. You can consume a full droplet as needed.

Taurus Full Moon: Musings, Abundance & Gratitude 

Tonight the moon is heavy and full with Taurus energy—an Earth sign. Daylight is becoming shorter and Mother Earth is preparing for her annual rest in the Northern hemisphere. Gaia needs abundance before this winter’s hibernation—how can we all gently aid her into this peaceful transition? To ensure she has sweet and empowering dreams. The pains of the capitalist patriarchy have taken such a toll on her (and all of us). So how can we make a commitment to promising her more safety and nourishment next year? When we accept her gifts of nourishment, we can also work to ensure she is not depleted through our consumptions. 

Taurus and the Earth element are both ruled by Venus—a dual power of love, harmony, and embodiment are at the forefront for this full moon. I’m focusing on what I crave, what I need, what I have the energy to give, and the ways in which I can add to others’ journey towards abundance. 

The next full moon in Taurus will be in May, 2018—so give yourself time to be slow and think about this cycle of groundedness. What brings home to your body? How can you focus on your ruby red roots that are always there for you, whether you recognize them or not? What helps you feel embodied: dance, slow movements, a warm cup of tea, meditation, hiking or being in nature? This is a time to set into action what you want to manifest by next Spring. 

While you meditate, I suggest sipping on this tea. I asked a femme friend (I write more about their work below) to create an amazing tea for this full moon. Here is their recipe!

Tea Of Abundance by Ødäne
*** specifically created for this Taurus Full Moon
Ingredients for 3 cups (to 16 oz of Blessed Water):
2 tbsp Thyme
2 tsp Violet
2 tsp Lavender
1 tsp Sage
2 tbsp Rose Petals/Buds (organic)
3 tsp Golden Rod
3 tsp Marshmallow
2 tsp Foxglove
1 Cinnamon Stick

Affirmation: Within my second house // Shukra dances in full bloom // Nymphs sing songs under full moon // Mind, body, soul // By sea, by earth & ether within // Abundance is now // Abundance is won

Drink and chant this affirmation every day for 8 days, starting this morning Friday, November 3. For full effect—visualize your ownership for healing and the completion of any desire.

Life has been moving so quickly for me lately that I’ve hardly had time to sit and give thanks for the guidance I’ve received. But the universe has been listening because I have been receiving an abundance of guidance from so many people in my life: new and old // digital and IRL. Thank you all for your love and patience with me! 🔮 🖤

I recently experienced my first ever tea ceremony with a dear (and new) friend Ødäne (who provided the amazing Taurus Full Moon tea recipe above). To celebrate Samhain, we gathered with fellow craft workers to meditate, release, and drink tea for the body//mind//spirit. Ødäne led us in the most empowering ceremony with the intention to listen to and build our connection with the Spirit and our own guides. As I held onto my cup of tea, I quietly closed my eyes and could feel my late grandmother at my shoulder. Letting me know that I should not give away energy that I do not have. She affirmed for me that it’s okay to focus inwardly. Thank you Ødäne for sharing your gift with the world! You are truly magical. If you would like to host a tea ceremony with Ødäne—which you all definitely should, if you can (it’s life altering)—you can contact them at Craft@WVOCRAFT.COM

Our most recent interviewee Taylor Yates for reading my natal chart and providing me with the most inspiring reiki session. Taylor is truly an amazing healing practitioner. She provides long reaching astrology readings, healing reiki sessions and amazing insights into creativity. All of which we spoke about in our most recent episode, which you should check out if you haven’t yet!

My dear friend Olivia Ahn, thank you for continually giving energy to the world and those around you. I want you to know that you are seen, valued, and held. Olivia has so much knowledge about empathy, love, the moon and energy. I have learned so much from you in our budding friendship and am continually grateful to have your presence in my life.

Rahel, my partner in this growing project. I wouldn’t want to embark on this with anyone else and not only do I appreciate your insights and energy—but I have so much fun creating this podcast with you. It fills me up with so much joy that we are giving space in this weird and wild world for femme energy and conversations. 

Shontay, I want you to know how grateful I am for you continually holding space for me and checking in on me. I’m not sure I yet have the words for how grateful I am for your presence in my life. But I want you to know that I hold your energy so dearly and close to my heart. 

My friend Cameron for continually giving space to femmes in her life. Thank you for processing life with me and teaching me what it means to be truly present in a conversation. I love the way our friendship has grown over the past year. 

Dearest Y, thank you for your presence in my life. Your support. Your affirmations to my process. I hope you know what you mean to me. 

Myself. For being patient with my process. For being gentle with my thoughts. 

Sarah Faith of Visual Magic and Many Moons—though I don't know them personally, their blog has been giving me so much guidance and life. I have been learning so much about the moon phases through their newsletter, books and posts. I highly recommend their work. 

This is by no means a comprehensive list of the people and energies I’m grateful for. Just a few who I felt pulled to write about at the present moment. 


My Full Moon meditation plans:::

Walk barefoot in the grass. Feel my feet sink into the cold, mushy dirt below me. 

Create a makeshift alter, as I’m currently traveling and in Northampton, MA. 

Pull guidance from The Mother and do a tarot reading.

Drink Ødäne's Taurus Full Moon tea and repeat their amazing affirmation. 

Meditate slowly and with patience for my ever rushing thoughts.

Focus on these questions from Naimonu James:
What does joy look like for me?
How do I cultivate my joy?
Are there block to my joy? If so, what/who are they?
Where is there already joy in my life?

What are you doing for this Full Moon? Resting, writing, spending time in community, nourishing your body with your favorite foods? We want to hear from you! Use the hashtag #FemmesWithPlants to connect with us this week. 

xx, Corinne

New Moon, New Beginnings

Rahel’s New Moon Reflections & Affirmations

One thing that I love about myself is that I know me so well that no-one can come at me from a place of hate and tell me something that I don’t already know. I love that I am never shaken or confused by hateful or envious intentions of others. I see it and know that they only see my power—and maybe they can really see the magnitude of it, something that I can’t always gaze at. This year has been a shedding of that hatred. A shedding of people/places/things that hold envy at the core. Shedding of all the people and things that hold selfish intentions with their magic/creations/work. A year that really showed me that I have all the power I need inside—and I have it because I have made it a point to surround myself with people who reflect powerful magic back to me. I surround myself with people who share themselves without expectation or false hopes or passive aggressive wishes. The Hierophant has been an overarching theme of my year. Using wisdom, trusting intuition, going inward.

With this in mind, I have been thinking a lot about affirming myself and looking back at my accomplishments this year and what they will continue to bring forth.

I commit to putting my time, money, and creative thoughts into expanding my work.

I commit to saying no when whatever ‘it’ is breaks into my sacred time, my work, my solitude.

I commit to making space to heal. Talking with close friends about my life, who I am, who I was, who I will be.

I commit to being outspoken even when I’m afraid to do so. My fears come from rejection, shame, isolation. If I am rejected, shamed, or isolated I will not allow that to affect my thoughts of self, my worth, or my well being.

I will no longer serve what doesn’t serve me. Service comes in many forms. A smile, an open heart, soft words, time, and space. If I don’t feel connection and feel that my efforts are one-sided, I will let it go.

I commit to spending time to look into myself.

I commit to taking friends/lovers who shake me to the core when expressing how I should be proud of who I am and be loud about it.

I commit to being completely raw with what I need sexually. Unafraid to speak on my desires. I will be open and honest and talk with lovers and friends about how I approach desire and ask for what I need to feel full.  I commit to exploring these desires with myself and sharing them only with people who know how to really hold me.

Ep. 2. Taking The Response To Sexual Violence Further Than A #TweetOfTheDay


Corinne's New Moon Reflections & Affirmations

This past summer has flashed before my eyes so quickly. But in the small moments, it seemed to be going painstakingly slow. Like I couldn't get through it fast enough to get to the-other-side. What was at the-other-side, I didn't know. I just knew it must be better than the turbulence I was going through. 

I'm on the-other-side now. And I'm remembering that sometimes everything needs to be uprooted for new growth to begin. I wasn't being mindful. I wasn't watering myself for growth. I wasn't listening to my body. And so, this new moon in Libra is monumental for me. The moon always shows up in my life when I need her energy most. Even though you can't physically see the new moon, she is invoking something bigger from us all right now. While she takes a break in the dark to replenish her energy; she is calling on us to live with more intention. To find harmony in our relationships, either that or those relationships aren't right for us. 

The airiness of the sun and moon both being in Libra tonight, for me, is all about clear communication and boundary setting. I haven't been speaking my unconscious truths—not even to myself. In the past I've run from new beginnings. Afraid of the shift. Afraid of the uprooting. 

Right now, I am in existing in my uprooted state. Completely raw. Everything on the surface, not just below as it had been this summer. A stranger walking by me could just pluck one nerve and I would know exactly what nerve and where in my body I had been touched. That means that I cannot speak anything but my truths, even the dark ones. And in that I have found affirmations about what I want to give the world:

I commit to being good to my friends and my community because I want them to have the power and emotional strength to be good to their people and so on and so forth. We can pass along this force of energy to one another through everyday, simple interactions. 

I commit to examining my intentions in the work I do. I commit to following my creativity the way I would if there was no audience, no noise, no emojis, no social media likes. 

I commit to letting my truths (especially the hurt ones) flow from my mouth in a non-selfish way. I commit to speaking my truths with intention for growth (for myself and the person(s) I'm communicating with). 

I commit to remembering the fact that I don't need to prove my worthiness to anyone. 

I commit to not trying to control my future. To letting go of expectations, especially from others.

I commit to holding space for others who have held space for me. I commit to holding space for new people in my life and allowing that source of energy to grow. I commit to holding space in a way that isn't selfish or self serving and doing my best to ensure that the space feels safe for everyone present. I commit to actively listening to what is said in this space and reflecting on those words and continuing to carry them with me. 

I commit to holding everyone in my life (myself included) accountable for what we say and do and how it impacts other human beings existing in the world. 

With love and blessings for this new moon,
Rahel and Corinne